Mary Morony, Author of Apron Strings, Done Growed Up and If It Ain't One Thing
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Missing Lots Bringing Spring Home

Missing Lots Bringing Spring Home

 

Missing Lots Bringing Spring HomeI am Missing Lots Bringing Spring Home. It’s funny what you remember about our departed loved one.

Who needs an unreliable groundhog to foretell the coming of an early spring? We do now. As harbingers of spring, groundhogs are woefully inadequate and are weeks late reporting the news. Without the benefit of news anchors, we knew a full two weeks before all that. No need for us to venture forth in the cold to see if a groundhog scared himself back to ground. It is not necessary for us to leave the bed. We know all too well before Groundhogs Day if an early spring is in the offing. How you must be asking yourselves?

No need for us to venture forth in the cold to see if a groundhog scared himself back to ground. It is not necessary for us to leave the bed.

We know all too well before Groundhogs Day if an early spring is in the offing. How you must be asking yourselves?

Our knowledge was brought to us by Lots, our past resident aficionado on all things repulsively smelly. She possed a particular fondness for the little nocturnal foragers who share our neighboring woods. Despite Lottie’s attempts at keeping their population in check, they thrive in vast numbers around our part of the world.

So much so, she barely had to travel far afield to come upon the big stinkies. Last year, if was our luck a mother skunk birthed a litter of babies in December. Old Lots picked them off like so many morsels on a passing tray of hors d’oeuvres.

The only good part of this is they didn’t stink since their powerful predator-deterrent were not developed. The impossible-to-get-rid-of foul, oily goo was no deterrent to our Lots, who found the aroma of pew divine.

What Lots taught us lots as we attempted to live with her habit. Skunks respond to the delicate nuances of the sap rising in the surrounding trees. Their minds immediately focus on one thing and only one thing the siren’s song of love. Abandoning all sense of preservation, not a parting thought to the young the leave behind; off they go to quell their most primal urges.

As Pepé la Pew said, “Do you know when you are in love, it is impossible to get insurance?! He and his ilk surge out into the dangers of the wide world beyond their burrows in search of sensuous pleasure. They risk all for a few stolen moments of love armed with their stink bombs. Sadly they ended up right in Lots’ eager maw.

If you don’t, believe me, check it out for yourselves. Since Groundhogs Day is a thing of the past this year, keep this in mind for next January. You will start to see the stinkers on the side of the road all testaments to the impressive draw of the season of love.

Nights in late winter/early spring when Lottie returned home from a busy night of picking off loved-crazed skunks, the garage filled with discontent and her tear-producing odors. Dog Blogger, Hagar and his trusty assistant, Sophie registered their outrage in the form of growls, snarls and nocturnal barks as Lottie nighttime activities wage an assault on their more delicate sensibilities.

Her scent was so pervasive that neither doors nor walls are up to the task of containment. To add a certain je n’ai sais quoi to her aroma, Lots buried her prey in a shallow grave. The nested upon it like a brooding hen until it arrived at the zenith of repulsive perfection and then she dove into the gooey mass taking what can only be considered a dog’s equivalent of a *io*French bath*ic*. This practice rendered applying cleaning agents quickly to the afflicted hound, highly recommended for best result–impossible.

Then she nested upon it like a brooding hen until it arrived at the zenith of repulsive perfection and then she dove into the gooey mass taking what can only be considered a dog’s equivalent of a *io*French bath*ic*. This practice rendered applying cleaning agents quickly to the afflicted hound, highly recommended for best result–impossible.

Hubs and I this time of year used to prowl around the yard, looking for disturbed earth, sniffing like badgers while poking any suspicious mounds with sticks. The discovery of her miasma was mandatory before any measures could be taken to eradicate her odious odor. Unfortunately, she was wise to us so became more circumspect in her choices of gravesites, which only serves to ingrain her fetor the more.

Experts don’t understand why dogs like horrible smells. They don’t agree why some dogs have such a strong fondness for the world of rank. My guess it is a status symbol of sorts like a designer perfume. Clearly, it is a preference since our canine buddies have many million more scent receptors than we do and most prefer the three D’s-dead, decaying and disgusting over our three F’s-fresh, floral and fruity.

Early spring at our house used to look like a woebegone St Bernard huddled up to the front door reeking of her recent debauchery. She was quite unable to deduce her love of skunk disqualified her of entry.

Always on the look out for a concoction to alleviate the , I scoured the Internet checking humane societies’ suggestions. Those societies start off cautioning not to let a skunked dog in the house as if you needed the reminder???!

What I have discovered while attempting to eradicate the aroma is that your odor receptors out of necessity fall into the olfactory equivalent of denial. You cease to notice the odor but only for a time. How else are there are so many posts on Google touting the efficacy of odor removing shampoos? I have found nothing, but time and airings to eradicate Pepé la Pew’s ill-fated nights on the town.

Spring is on the return, all things being equal I miss getting the news from Lots. Now for Hagar’s two cents,

As much as I miss Lots o’Dog I do not miss my house filling up with that odor. She liked the scent of skunk so much that whenever she could she would smear herself head to tail in thecritters perfume. She was just like those humans who put on way too much perfume.

Man, it would give me the biggest headache. I put my paw down when it came to bringing her fresh kill into her bed. It was right next door to mine!

Hey, would you mind giving me a little scratch right there behind my ear. With this knee its hard to get awww yes, there thanks.

The barking got me into some serious trouble. Since she went out at night to hunt, I had to stand guard by the door to make sure she didn’t bring it into the garage. When I saw her coming mouth full of her prey I barked several warnings to say that this was a no skunk zone. A fat lot of thanks, I got for it too, that’s what I got to say about that.canine cunundrums


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  1. Julie

    19 February

    Now that you mention it, there has been alot of skunks on the side of the road. Very interesting!

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