HI! My name is Hagar and I’m a dog. Before I get to into this inter-web game, I want to get one thing straight. Mary and I share the same last name, but that’s where it ends. You don’t even have to trust me on this particular point. Look at her book Apron Strings and the soon to be released sequal Done Growed Up. Are they dogged with Great Danes or even a single St Bernard? No, Bloodhounds, of all the breeds! It leaves me speechless and scratching my ear. The big–as if–long-eared, dopes can hardly see from under all of that skin. She writes about them! They can’t even control their olfactory nerves, but they are in all three of her books. It’s not that I have anything against Bloodhounds. Never had the pleasure. Just want to make my point–I am my own dog. What you hear is me all me. Did I mention in her latest book If It Ain’t One Thing.., she goes so far as to use Jack Russell terriers – they couldn’t find a piece of bacon if they sat on it. Bacon? Did someone say bacon?? Loyalty clearly is not one of my chatty friend Mary’s strongest suits. What do you expect? She isn’t a canine. She does make killer chicken feet broth for me, though. Thank Dog for those opposable thumbs.
Now that, that’s out of the way, on to what’s shaking besides our tails around here these days. It’s getting close to calving season, a favorite for me. The young heifers were recently moved to the field next to our house. We make it our job to keep an eye on them. Sophie, Lots O’ Dog, and I are on the look out for new calves from our spot under our favorite tree. When a calf is born, we make it, our job to keep it safe from the buzzards. We chase the buzzards away.
Sometimes we get into a bit of a canine conundrum out there. What are we chasing? Between you and me and the gatepost, good place to lift your leg, by the way, we sometimes forget and chase the cows. Those birds are interested in the afterbirth, but then so are we, and the calves’ first poops–man talk about gooooood. That might be too down-on-the-farm for you city dogs. You are going to have to take my word for it, good eats.
Lots o’ Dog likes to roll in it, too. That doesn’t do a thing for me, besides it’s a waste of good eats, but she does smell good. We provide a valuable service. If a newborn calf doesn’t get up right away, those vultures can hurt the calves by pecking at them. We make sure that doesn’t happen.
It is a real dog’s life here on the farm. We work hard but eat good! Fire’s started, got go claim my spot before Sophie gets it.
Hagar out for the night!