Mary Morony, Author of Apron Strings, Done Growed Up and If It Ain't One Thing

Bark At The Moon

spray nozzle

Hagar here with news on the dog front. You haven’t heard from me lately. I’ve been very busy what with entertaining and mourning. A few weeks ago, I had to roll out the red carpet for two guest dogs and a cat for 10 days. I’m pretty sure told you about the cat.

It was a blast having Lacey and Piglet over. We got to go for W-A-L-K-S every single day –twice! Not sure why we don’t walk when we don’t have guest dogs. Mary must have been showing off. Ya can’t tell with humans. They do some strange things. I know that for sure. I heard her say the other day she couldn’t write. Well if I can write, she can write, sheeze humans, what are you gonna do with ‘em? I know one thing I can’t live without her. That doesn’t mean I like this new NO BARKING law she’s laid down.

You would think the loss of a good friend would give Mary a reason to let up on the training, but ohhhh noooooo she’s doubled her forces. I heard her say the other day now that there are only two to train this barking has got to stop! Hey man… a fish has to swim, a horse has to gallop and a dog has to bark.

Barking is part of my job description. If she just said I don’t want you barking at night I’d understand, and I’d make an effort to stop, but there are all of those things that go bump. Night bumps require barks, it’s that simple, oh, and birds, squirrels, bugs, coyotes, foxes, other dogs, the moon the stars…. it’s a long list. It’s actually pretty fun. I love to hear my own voice and see Mary flinch when I take her by surprise. Sue me. A dog’s gotta bark.

She has a spray bottle that she uses anytime we bark. First, she says NO BARKING, which of course I ignore then she sprays me with water. I hate that! I do everything I can to get the point across that the bottle has to go except bark. Hey, I’m not stupid. I curl my lip, I snort and stomp and talk back but no dice when I bark I get sprayed. Very frustrating. I’m sure she means business too because she went with me to greet the brown truck driver the other day WITH THE SPRAY BOTTLE! Did I say I hate the spray bottle? Water is not a dog’s best friend.

On a more somber note, my dear and nearly lifelong friend Lots O’ Dog lost her life the other day. It is unclear exactly hocanine cunundrumsw it happened. She was running along with the car and might have tripped. One minute she was there and the next, she was gone. So all you dogs out there no matter how fun it is to run along side of the car when it comes home, don’t do it!

Hagar out for now!


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